Changing the Moment: Part Three
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love” -- Lao Tzu
Unfortunately, we have a distinct lack of kindness in our societies.
People are rude to each other. They get angry at each other because of their driving skills and give them a rude gesture. They yell at people for doing their job wrong. Wars rage out at all times. They’re angry. It hurts us.
Because of this, it’s important to be kind. In all ways. Although Lao Tzu describes three kinds of kindness, there’s an infinite number of possibilities, all of which we can actively practice every day.
As Tzu says, Kindness in words creates confidence. This is true. Think about the last time you told someone you liked their outfit, or acknowledged them for a job well done (If you haven’t done this in a while, this is a sign to go out of your way to do that today). After we compliment someone, we smile and feel proud of ourselves for making that person happier. We might even feel like that person's hero for a little while before we go about our day. This is a very pure form of confidence -- we feel responsible for ourselves, and we understand what it is that we’re capable of.
Kindness in thinking, however, is a little bit different of a case. Kindness in thinking leads to knowledge that others can’t comprehend because they’re blocked by their anger and negativity with others. Kindness in thinking gives us the other hand because it keeps us from assuming the worst of people, which allows us to think and plan for it, but understand that realistically it won’t happen.
Lastly, kindness in giving creates love. Not just material objects either. You can give time and dedication towards something, spend time with others, share experiences with them, and help them remember that the world isn’t a bad place to be a part of. Giving your time, attention, and energy to helping someone improve creates love, and is possibly the best kind of gift you can give someone.
Be kind. It matters.
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What do you do to be kind? Do you go out of your way to do just that? Or do you turn your head the other way and continue walking when you see someone in need of a friend? Why or why not? I’d love to hear what you think in the comment section. I would also greatly appreciate if you left a like, shared this post with your friends, and followed. It’s absolutely free, and you can always change your mind later if you decide to do so. Also, stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
Changing the Moment: Part Two
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” -- Lao Tzu
Respect is a funny thing. Some people think everyone deserves it. Some think it’s something you earn through hard work and dedication to yourself and others. Others still think it’s a combination of the two.
What I know to be true is that respect is something that begins within one’s self. Others cannot respect you until you respect yourself. In this, I mean it’s important to take care of your mind, spirit, and body. Keep your mind sharp by learning new things. Touch bases with your spirit by journaling and meditating. Make your body strong by properly fueling it and exercising it regularly. In doing this, we show others how we treat ourselves -- teaching them how to treat us.
That being said, it’s important to keep yourself from comparing yourself to others. Doing so results in self doubt, lack of confidence, loss of determination, unhappiness, stress, depression, anxiety… you name it. Comparing yourself to others is the best thing you can do to ruin your own life. The reason for this is similar to the reason that it’s important to stay in the moment -- constantly comparing right now to the past or future results in absence for the present, which you later wish you had paid attention to. Then of course you end up worrying again, which restarts the cycle… it’s a whole disaster that fuels itself.
In order to stop yourself from jealousy towards others, we need to focus on our own strengths and qualities. Cherish them, and remember that nobody else has quite the same strengths we do. That being said, account for your weaknesses too. They help to give us meaning, and a goal.
Once you achieve self respect and stop comparing yourself to other people, everything in your life will change for the better.
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What do you do to remind yourself of your strengths? How do you respect yourself? I’d love to hear what you think in the comment section. I would also greatly appreciate if you left a like, shared this post with your friends, and followed. It’s absolutely free, and you can always change your mind later if you decide to do so. Also, stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
Changing the Moment: Part One
“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” -- Lao Tzu
It’s difficult to do things.
It’s hard to drag ourselves out of our comfy little spots and start moving and getting things done. It’s hard to motivate ourselves.
When these moments happen, what do you normally think?
Do you think about whether or not you really need to do that chore?
Do you argue with yourself?
Or do you tell yourself that it’s something that needs to be done?
Here’s the thing. We often end up not doing what we need to because we think that it’s optional. We stay home from work because we don’t feel like going that day. We skip workouts because “just one day won’t do anything.” We also fall back into bad habits like eating junk food because we think it’s an option to do so.
Here’s the thing. If we could shift our mindset from “optional” to “absolutely necessary,” we would get a lot more stuff done. How do we do this? Well, as Lao Tzu says we should do, we do things when they’re easy -- before they stack up against us. If we skip one day of work when we really need it, it’s probably better than not. If we skip one workout or eat one cheat meal every once in a while, it keeps us from stagnating and getting bored with ourselves and our habits. However, if we do this kind of thing every day… our life falls apart. They lose structure, which drags us down exponentially. It’s usually easier to build upon things that are already there -- choosing not to do things removes those opportunities from being there.
This idea ties together most of what my past blog posts have been about. This includes forming strong habits, making obstacles turn into opportunities, and mastering our minds and bodies. All of these things immediately become easier when we tackle our small problems before they get big.
Take the first step.
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How do you convince yourself to get up and do what needs to be done? How do you stop yourself from procrastinating? I’d love to hear what you think in the comment section. I would also greatly appreciate if you left a like, shared this post with your friends, and followed. It’s absolutely free, and you can always change your mind later if you decide to do so. Also, stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
The Process of Self Mastery: Part Two
“He who pursues fame at the risk of losing his self is not a scholar.” -- Zhang Zhou
Fame, like money, is a multiplier. It brings out whatever is beneath all the outside layers of someone. If they’re truly greedy and self centered, it will shine through after fame or money.
Because of this, it’s important to remember to look after ourselves when we’re achieving our goals. Zhou uses the example of fame, but in truth it applies to any goal you're pursuing. You can’t lose yourself in your goal, otherwise it doesn’t even matter whether or not you achieve it.
In order to stop ourselves from being lost in our goals, we have to set aside time to touch bases with ourselves and our friends and family. After all, we don’t want to lose them on top of it. In order to do this, I recommend one of two solutions. The first is to set aside one day of the week where you absolutely refuse to let yourself work, and instead only pay attention with friends and family. The other is to set aside time at the end of every day (I recommend during mealtimes) to bond with others. It depends on how your schedule works, but if you start your day early in the morning, I recommend setting aside time at the end of your day.
Once we carve out time for others, we realize our own lives start to improve. Why? Because time with others is an investment that benefits ourselves as well as others. Contributing to others' lives helps them when they’re at their low points. They remember the times you spend together, and it can even help pull them out of whatever low point they’re at. The best part is -- you don’t even realize when this happens. It’s a funny thought actually, you could be at home laughing at some video you’re watching while they’re at their house pulling themselves out of their low point. Chances are, they’ll never tell you about it either, they’ll just pay it back without you ever knowing.
This time you set aside could be used for more than spending time with others too. Of course, you should always do that a little bit for the reasons named above. That being said, you can also use that time to rest and recover yourself. This is equally as important as helping others.
What do you think? What do you do to keep yourself from falling under your passions? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section. Also, feel free to like, follow, and share this post on social media -- it helps me grow our community. Other than that, stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
The Process of Self Mastery: Part One
“Flow with whatever may happen, and let your mind be free: stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.” -- Zhang Zhou
“The ultimate” is a relative term with many different meanings. For some, it’s owning millions of dollars, several properties, every fancy sports car you can imagine, and never having to worry about whether or not you’ll be able to put food on the table. For others, it’s being able to adapt to your surroundings and excel in them. Others believe that the ultimate is the acceptance of everything, regardless of whether or not it’s good or bad.
Zhang Zhou, however, believes that the last example is the ultimate. He believes that the ultimate is to flow with your surroundings and accept your current position, regardless of whether or not you like it.
Keeping this in mind, try to apply it to your life. What is it about yourself that you always think about and can’t seem to come to terms with? Are you self conscious about your appearance? Do you wish you were smarter in a particular area? If you’re reading this blog, chances are that you still have something about yourself that you haven’t mastered.
The process of self mastery begins with acceptance and ends with freedom of mind. So, in order to overcome whatever sets you back, you first have to accept it. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to like whatever it is at first -- if you could do that then you wouldn’t feel the need to change it. It simply means you have to take whatever problem you’re having and look at it from multiple different angles. See through it, question it, and then integrate it into your being as a newfound strength instead of a weakness. After that, sharpen the skill it gives you.
In doing this, everything has the possibility of change. Procrastination becomes determination. Depression becomes a defensive shield. Hate becomes misunderstanding. Once your mindset goes from harmful to helpful, it becomes easier to remind yourself of what you’re good at and what you can contribute to the world.
What are your thoughts on this? How can you contribute to yourself with your strengths? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section. Feel free to leave a like. Also, I would sincerely appreciate it if you shared your favorite article with your friends on social media. It would greatly help support me and allow us to grow our little community. Other than that, stay tuned for future blog posts on Mondays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
Thoughts in Action: Part Six
“It is easy to love your friend, but sometimes the hardest lesson to learn is to love your enemy.”
What’s the difference between friends and enemies?
That question seems simple, but really think about it. You think about both often. You give time and energy to both, and you end up having some kind of relationship with both.
Of course, the obvious answer is that you prefer to spend time around one and not the other. You know one is better for you to be around, and the other isn’t. It’s easy to love one of them. The other one, not so much.
This quote, however, also reflects the human psyche. Think about how you’re a friend to yourself. You give yourself food, water, sleep, and exercise. You also allow yourself entertainment and knowledge. These things help you feel alive, and like your life has meaning. However, there’s also parts of you that you dislike. Parts you don’t consider your friend. Those parts are the ones that whisper negative thoughts in your ear. These parts make you anxious and depressed as a result of not being perfect. These parts hurt.
Keeping today’s quote in mind, how are we supposed to love those parts of ourselves? How are we supposed to look at the darkest parts of our minds right in the face and tell them “Hey. I see you. I love you. You’re okay.” It seems impossible. Although it isn’t impossible, it’s certainly close to it.
In order to truly love the negative part of our psyche, we need to understand it’s purpose. For me, I imagine that part of myself as something that is simply concerned for me, and wants to watch out for the positive parts of my mental health. When we shift our mindset to understanding instead of immediate fear, it becomes a lot more difficult to not feel some kind of sympathy for things we don’t like. The dark parts of our minds suddenly become a small child that needs to be told that things are going to be okay. Our enemies become friends that are badly hurt. Our flaws become undeveloped strengths.
Remember this next time you’re angry with yourself. Remind yourself that there’s a reason you feel the way you do, and acknowledge that everybody feels that way from time to time.
Love your negative side.
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What do you do to love your negative side? How do you accept parts of yourself that you dislike? I’d love to hear what you have to say in the comment section. Feel free to like this blog post and follow me -- you can always change your mind later. Also, I would sincerely appreciate it if you shared this post on social media. It helps out the blog a lot, allows me to dedicate more time to it, and grows our community. Other than that, stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
Thoughts in Action: Part Five
“He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.”
War is one of those things that tears down everybody involved in it. The reason for this is that it’s fueled by hate and anger, no matter which way people cut it. If we didn’t hate, war wouldn’t exist.
Imagery of war is a perfect thing to keep in mind while you read today’s blog post.
Oftentimes, people get frustrated with each other. It’s just what happens between people, and although it isn’t always bad, it can be an obstacle. That being said, those people have all heard the saying “choose your battles.” Some of them think that’s stupid advice, while others think about it for a little bit before forgetting about it. Here’s the thing: it’s true. You can’t fight every fight, and if you do you certainly won’t win every fight. Again, the same thing applies to war. Sometimes, it’s better to run away and fight another day.
The problem arises when people let their ego get in their way and make them bite off more than they can chew. They end up arguing with everybody over everything, sometimes even getting physically aggressive, and at the end of the day they’re exhausted -- and even think that it’s not their fault at all! Of course, this is an extreme case, but the most extreme cases make the best examples.
In order to put your ego to the side and learn when to walk away, we first must understand that anger does NOT equal strength. When properly used and thought through, it can make it easier for us to draw the line in the sand, but most of the time it’s better to just breathe and let it go. One way to do this is to count. Count to ten. Count to one hundred. Maybe even count to one thousand if you need to. What’s important is you’re acknowledging your anger, but you aren’t letting it take control of your actions.
Once you understand that anger is a tool and not something you express when you don’t get what you want, it becomes a lot easier to choose your battles. In doing so, you’ll eventually win those battles because you’re striking at the right time -- why break down a brick wall when there’s an open gate five minutes down the road? Think of it this way and your motives will become clear to you. Your actions will fall into place, and your battles will make sense because you’ll know when to choose them.
Choose your battles. It leads to success.
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What do you think? What do you do to keep yourself from choosing every battle? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section. Also, I would sincerely appreciate it if you left a like, followed, and shared this blog on your social media. It hugely helps me out, and allows us to grow our community. Stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
Thoughts in Action: Part Four
“Great results can be achieved with small forces.” - Sun Tzu
This quote heavily relates to the other posts on this blog.
Oftentimes, people think that great results are only achieved using great forces. Although this is sometimes true, great results are more often achieved by the accumulation of hours and hours of smaller results. Keep in mind that this is simply how to get great results - phenomenal results require constant attention. It’s the difference between someone who’s fit and lean and a 300 pound bodybuilder at 4% body fat. In fact, phenomenal results (in bodybuilding at least) are usually from some kind of cheat that absolutely destroys your body.
Although we know phenomenal results are usually from inhuman and unnatural sources, we also understand that enough practice in anything can make you a master. What’s important is setting aside enough time to practice. We need to purposely make room to cause these small forces -- we don’t practice anything by accident.
This logic also applies to our everyday lives -- interacting with people, saving money, eating healthy foods, etc. Of course, saving money and eating healthy are two examples that are obvious and easy to understand. But what about interacting with others? How is that an example?
Well, people often let their emotions control their actions and reactions. They’ll get upset, angry, happy, or too excited about something, and they let it influence their decision making. Stoicism helps us to stop this from happening -- it helps us keep our decision making constant and reliable. That being said, sometimes we say or do something that we didn’t mean to and we don’t even realize it. For example, maybe you say yes to something that you didn’t think about beforehand. Maybe you want to stop spending time with someone because they’re too negative, but you unwillingly tell them that you don’t mind them because you feel bad about saying otherwise. Then you end up being around someone you dislike, and they end up putting too much faith in something they shouldn’t. Of course, if we could use our words precisely and carefully, this wouldn’t be an issue. In order to do this, we first must consider how we can gently communicate -- we need to find out how to use a small force to get big results.
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What do you think? What do you do to help your small forces accumulate over time? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section. Also, feel free to like this post and share it on your social media -- your friends could use this information! Stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
Thoughts in Action: Part Three
“Know yourself and you will win all battles.”
To know yourself is a task that many people consider to be the meaning of life. Whether or not this is true isn’t my place to say, but regardless of that, knowing yourself is the key to being successful in your endeavors.
The thing is though, it’s not as simple as just getting to know yourself. The reason for this is that people tend to search for things they like and only think about those things. This is a flaw, because it doesn’t allow for us to see our weaknesses. When we can’t see those, our downfall follows shortly after. Would the Spartans have lost if they didn’t have a traitor among them? Most likely not.
The same logic applies to your mind and body. Both are shockingly intricate, and because of this they have quite a few chances to improve. This is why it’s important to exercise and learn things. This is why we go to school. This is why it’s important to have a job that isn’t the same thing all day every day -- doing otherwise results in less brain plasticity and a lowered potential.
To know yourself is to love and accept yourself. ALL parts of yourself, not just the parts you like. Truthfully, you don’t have to love your flaws, but it’s still important to acknowledge them, accept them, and respect them. Chances are, a history buff and a math whiz will never trade professions. To expect that would be ridiculous, and to assume that ignoring your weakness is going to fix it would be a poor decision for you to make. When you’re training of course, this is a little different, because the whole point is to push your potential further and make yourself more resilient (see Ross Edgley’s The Art of Resilience for more information on this).
To summarize -- acceptance of the whole is crucial for success.
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What do you think? How do you push yourself and accept yourself? I’d love to hear what you have to say in the comment section. Feel free to leave a like and share this on your social media as well! Your friends and family can use this information to improve their lives, and they might thank you for helping them! Other than that, stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
Thoughts in Action: Part Two
“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.”
Chaos is a tricky thing, isn’t it?
We see it all around the world, especially now that a lot of us are strongly encouraged to stay inside. We see it within our own homes, where our minds are running at ten thousand miles a second and freaking out about everything.
Where life is, chaos grows.
Fortunately for us, we have a funny way of controlling our chaos. Some of us are able to let our chaos be the nutrients for our bodies and the stimuli for our minds. To some, chaos acts as a ladder.
How do they do this?
Well, it begins with acceptance of chaos. You can’t move past anything without first accepting it, regardless of whether it’s mental or physical. To use chaos, it’s absolutely necessary that you accept it’s existence and acknowledge that it’s going to keep happening.
The next step to using chaos as a ladder is to find the pattern to your chaos. That’s right, even chaos has order to it. If you keep your eyes peeled, you’ll eventually begin figuring out what triggers what. Once you figure these things out, you’ll begin to be able to form plans around these patterns.
The final (simplified) step in making chaos your tool is to determine what you’re working towards. Use the acceptance you’ve gained for chaos, combine it with your plan, and soon enough you’ll be able to just focus on what’s right in front of you.
While going through this process, it’s important to keep in mind that chaos and order are the yin and yang of life. Jordan Peterson even states that order can be found within chaos, which can be found within order, within chaos, and so on and so forth. Apply this to life, and we soon begin figuring out where things lie.
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What do you do to push towards order even when everything around you is chaotic? How do you come up with plans to solve your problems? There’s lots of different ways of thinking, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section. Also feel free to leave a like and share this post on social media -- your friends and family can use the information here! Other than that, stay tuned for blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
Thoughts in Action: Part One
“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” -- Sun Tzu, Art of War
Sun Tzu was a military strategist, philosopher, and general. He’s credited for writing The Art of War, which has influenced the world both in terms of philosophy and war strategy.
Opportunities are opened up to us every day. Sometimes we take them, sometimes we don’t, and sometimes we don’t even notice that they exist. But that’s okay, because even if we don’t take any opportunities up, they’ll still happen… right?
Well, according to Sun Tzu (called Master Sun in The Art of War), opportunities are exponential. Meaning that if we take up an opportunity, more opportunities rise to meet our current level of being. Think of beginning a job at a large company… let’s say Google.
At first, you’re simply an intern. You might not even make money yet. Then, once you do good enough, you’ll get promoted to an official employee. After crushing the expectations there, you become a manager, and then part of a team of managers, going up and up and up until you reach your potential. In fact if you were to become the CEO of Google, you could raise the bar to match your potential. This is how innovative things come into this world.
Unfortunately, this is a double edged sword. Sometimes, we shut down opportunities, and don’t act on them. This leads to a whole branch of opportunities to be cut off. This could even cause us to become unmotivated and turn down more opportunities, which has the same effect. Eventually we shut everything down until we can only do what we’re already doing. We lower our potential.
Opportunities revolve around potential. If we’re good enough, new opportunities pop up and take us to a whole new level. This happens again and again and again until we reach the top, which is when we add a new level. Even the best have room to grow, and once they do that they change the game.
A good example of this is to look at a sub-four minute mile. There was a time where nobody thought it was possible because our bodies physically were incapable of achieving this feat. That is, until 1954, when Roger Bannister ran a 3 minute, 59.4 second mile. Since then, more than 1,400 male athletes have done the same. Bannister became so good that he reached the top -- then added a new level for people to reach.
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What do you think? How do you reach for your potential every day, and what do you do to keep track of your opportunities? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section. Also, feel free to like this post and share it on your social media. You have a friend or family member that could use this information, and you could help change the world by giving it to them (see past blog posts for information on why this is). Other than that, stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
The Prison of Thought
“While we wait for life, life passes.” -- Seneca
Seneca was a Roman philosopher during the first phase of Emperor Nero’s reign. He was also a tragedian, meaning he had to think about why tragedy happened and what caused us to react the way we do.
Many people have a problem -- they end up stuck in their own minds, thinking about everything that could happen, but they never actually start doing anything. These people literally spend all day every day thinking about different ways things could happen.
Seneca understood this problem, and he knew that while people spent time thinking about what COULD happen, things WERE happening. This quote really is as simple as it looks, and there isn’t really any underlying theme to it.
In order for us to break free from this bad habit of thinking instead of doing, we need to look at when we’re wasting time thinking. Is it at night when you’re laying in bed? Is it during your break at work? Or is it when you get home and you think about the things that you want to do? Chances are, there’s some kind of time throughout the day where you worry about things. This wastes the time you have.
The good thing about this, however, is that this habit of overthinking is just that: a habit. If you’ve looked at my previous blog posts you know that habits are breakable. I encourage you to review those for methods on breaking habits.
What do you think? What do you worry about when nothing else is happening? How do you stop yourself from overthinking? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section. Also, feel free to like this post and share it on your social media -- your friends and family could use the information here! Stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
P.S.
I know this post is quite a bit shorter than most of my other ones, but I wanted to keep it simple this time. This quote is possibly the worst one to overthink.