Changing Identity: Part Five. How to Find Out What to do With Your Life.
“If you can’t find a game where the odds are stacked in your favor, create one.” -- James Clear, Atomic Habits
This quote alone can be enough to make you stick to your habits and succeed in everything -- including your own life.
Let’s be honest. You can’t be the best at everything. You can’t be the best worker that makes the most money while also having the most free time. No matter how much you want to have those things, time holds us back and puts most of us on equal ground. So how do we battle this issue? Well, let’s look at the time we have in a day. Assuming you’re getting enough sleep to properly heal your body, you’re sleeping 8 hours every night. That leaves 16 hours throughout the day. Most people spend around 8-10 hours a day actively working. That leaves us with 6-8 hours in our day that we can fill with whatever we want. But how do we choose what to fill it with?
James Clear has a process to help anybody find something productive that they could fill their time with. You simply ask yourself four questions, and if the answer to all of them is the same thing, then that’s the thing you want to spend your free time doing.
Question 1: “What feels like fun to me, but work to others?”
This question is to help you distinguish between things you enjoy doing and things you feel like you have to do even though you don’t like them. For example, I enjoy writing. This doesn’t feel like work to me -- it feels fun. I could spend all day doing it.
Question 2: “What makes me lose track of time?”
The purpose of this question is to make sure that you would be comfortable with practicing something all day to get better at it if you needed to. I’ll use the example of writing again. Let’s say I thought my quality in writing went down because I thought I didn’t need to try as hard. A willingness to practice all day and losing track of time in doing so would result in higher quality of writing, but I won’t feel drained after doing it.
Question 3: “Where do I get greater returns than the average person?”
This question is pretty self explanatory, but people have a tendency to assume that “returns” means money. Although yes, this can be true, it’s more important for you to feel satisfied after you do whatever it is you’re putting time towards. Satisfaction as a reward comes before money when it comes to working.
Question 4: “What comes naturally to me?”
This question is as simple and upfront as it can be. Think about something you’re naturally good at or have a talent for. Not necessarily something you already know -- think about something that’s easy for you to learn. That way you won’t get confused as easily as the average person when you do it.
Your ideal ways of living should involve something that answers all four of those questions. However, there are some exceptions to this rule. Maybe the thing you answered those questions with isn’t something you can build your life around. Although these positions are certainly challenging, they hold the most potential. Why? Because you can make a whole new field of work that has absolutely no competition because nobody else has thought of it. Whatever you answered those questions with is your calling, and I encourage you to pursue it even though it might be scary.
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What are your thoughts? What other processes of elimination do you use to determine what to do with your free time? I want to hear your thoughts! Also, consider following this blog, liking it, checking out other posts and sharing them with your friends -- they could find it useful and I would sincerely appreciate it. Stay tuned for future blog posts every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday around noon, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
-- Chris
Changing Identity: Part Four
“Incentives can change a habit. Identity can change a habit.” -James Clear, Atomic Habits
This quote summarizes the idea behind the Four Laws of Behavioural Change: changing habits starts with changing your identity.
If you’ve been reading my past blog posts, you understand the first three laws of Behavioural Change. The fourth law, however, is the only one that most people know to do. As a result, they often skip over the first three and go straight to this one. Although it’s important, it must coexist with the other three laws simultaneously in order to help you maintain a habit. The Law? Simple -- make it satisfying. Not to be confused with making yourself crave a habit. The difference between the two is that craving a habit happens when you aren’t actively doing the task, while being satisfied happens while you’re actively engaging in whatever task you’re trying to make a habit of.
So how do we make a task satisfying? Well, the human brain gets a rush of happy hormones whenever we solve a problem. And what do we call ourselves when we solve a problem? Successful. We make a task satisfying by succeeding in completion of said task. As Clear puts it: “Whatever is immediately rewarded is repeated. What is immediately punished is avoided.” This is why the last three laws work so well together; they all contribute to making a task more manageable and in turn more satisfying. The Fourth Law puts the last nail in the coffin by making the task more satisfying instead of the reward.
Unfortunately, the fourth law isn’t something that happens overnight. In fact, it only happens after your brain begins to understand that you get rewarded whenever you complete a certain task. Eventually it blends the idea of the reward with the idea of the task to make the task feel like a reward in and of itself. It’s a tricky concept to understand, and it’s even trickier to accept that it’s not something that happens overnight. That’s why the other three steps are so important; they’re activating the brain's reward mechanism mechanically through the use of external rewards such as junk food or watching TV.
Now that you understand what it takes to make good habits and break bad ones, you can start making small moves to work towards success. You can get one percent better every day. In fact, that’s 37.78 times better over the course of one year assuming you stick to your habits every day. Humans at the top of the food chain for a reason: we’re really good at getting one percent better every day, adapting to new challenges, overcoming them, and repeating that cycle every moment we’re conscious. We evolved to be the best, and we still have the capability to do so.
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What are your thoughts? I’m interested in what you have to say! Feel free to comment your thoughts and ideas. I would also sincerely appreciate it if you shared this with your friends and family, because they might be able to use the information I’m sharing with you. Stay tuned for future blog posts on Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, and try to be the reason someone smiles today :)
--Chris
Changing Identity: Part Three
“Walk slowly, but never backward.” -- James Clear, Atomic Habits
Unfortunately, quotes like this often go in one ear and out the other.
By this, I mean people usually know what they’re supposed to do, but they never do it because they’re too busy panicking about things. This problem shows up most often in students, who spend so much time panicking that they never actually get any work done. We know we have a problem, and we know how to solve it… so why don’t we?
Well, in order to understand this, we first must understand James Clear’s Third Law of Behavioural Change: Make it Easy. We already know that in order for a habit to start, there must be a cue, followed by a craving. The third step, as referenced in the last article, is to make a habit attractive; make it something you crave. We can apply tricks like rewarding ourselves with things we enjoy doing, but if the task is too hard to achieve we’ll simply skip that and go straight for the reward. For example: if you tell yourself you can only watch TV after 1000 pushups, you’ll realize you can just skip the pushups altogether. Lower the required number of pushups, however, and your mindset shifts to “Okay, well… I don’t like this task very much, but it is a fair trade to make with myself. I suppose I’ll do it.” This logic can be applied anywhere, with multiple different techniques of approach.
Alright, now we understand why we don’t solve our problem of over thinking. But how does that apply to making habits?
The answer is simple -- succeeding in the task instantly becomes more imaginable. The most important part of doing anything is simply to start, and now we know why it’s so important. As Clear says, “The most effective form of learning is practice, not planning.” The thing is, you probably already knew this and didn’t even realize it. Anybody that’s spent any amount of time learning how to play an instrument or learn a martial art knows this. In fact, anybody old enough to drive knows this -- you can spend all day reading and thinking about those things, but it’ll never be quite as good as actually doing them. Sure, thinking definitely helps, and it’s a crucial part of learning, but it’s the baby steps. Eventually you have to move on to bigger steps -- literally. Even babies stop crawling eventually.
To summarize, moving slowly is better than stopping and thinking about what moves to make. Even if you make mistakes on which way to move, you’re still learning about what NOT to do. That’s just as important as knowing what TO do.
I encourage you to start moving toward your goals just a little bit today. Take a break from thinking and start making moves by making the task easy.
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What makes things easier for you to do? What moves can you make to progress towards a goal you have? I’d absolutely love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Feel free to like, comment on, and SHARE my other posts that go more in depth on the other laws of behavioural change. You might find that information useful, and if you don’t then a friend or family member certainly will. Stay tuned for future blog posts, and try to be the reason someone smiles today
-- Chris
Changing Identity: Part Two
“The cause of your habits is actually the prediction that precedes them.” -- James Clear, Atomic Habits
When you take a step back and look at the process leading up to acting on an impulse, you realize that the satisfaction lies in the moments just before you actually get what you’re thinking about; not right when you get it.
In other words, we get more satisfaction out of wanting something than we do when getting something. The way the mind works is as follows: something triggers a craving (The first law of behaviour change), you let said craving sit for a while and build up (The second law), you respond to that craving (The third law), and then you get a reward (The fourth law). Since we understand that satisfaction lies in the craving and not the reward, we can begin to manipulate that desire to our own advantage and in turn change the reward to something more positive. But why does this matter when changing our habits?
The question above can be answered with another question: why would we have habits if they didn’t reward us in some way? People generally avoid doing certain things because they don’t see any immediate reward. Take exercise for example. It’s no lie that working out sucks. Nobody actually enjoys the act of working out unless they’ve already been doing it for a long time and have made it a part of their identity. The reason for this is that results aren’t immediately apparent in most cases. Sure, you could work out every day for a year and you would see plenty of results, but as stated before, results won't be visible overnight. Your mind craves a reward, and will stop at nothing to get some form of one. So how can we make this work to our advantage?
Well, let's think about the things you enjoy doing. That list probably involves surfing through YouTube or scrolling through social media, eating sweet foods, sleeping, and other things like that. In order to convince your primal mind that a habit is good even when results aren’t immediately visible, try rewarding yourself with a small bit of something you enjoy. Maybe you tell yourself that you can’t go on YouTube until after you’ve worked out for the day. Maybe you don’t let yourself eat any candy until you start working on the project you need to get done for school. I couldn’t tell you every instance that this would work, but I encourage you to think of different ways to use this method in order to successfully maintain positive habits.
At the end of the day, everybody wants to be fed, well rested, sheltered, and quenched of thirst. If you can find ways to reward your body with things that help you to fulfill those tasks, then reaching your daily goals is really just one step beyond that. No matter what you want to achieve, the first step is understanding how to train for success. Look at sports teams; they all have the same goal, but only some win because only some of them form good, strong habits. Although you might not be on a sports team, the main idea still applies: acting on your ambitions does more than hoping they'll show up overnight. Will you be one of the many people who lay in bed all day and think about success or their ambitions? Or will you be one of the few that acts on their ambitions and acts towards success? Now that you know where to start, you know how to decide. I wish you the best of luck.
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What do you think about reaching goals? What helps you get things done throughout the day? I’d love to read through your ideas in the comments. Contribute to your community by sharing this article with your friends and family! Maybe these articles are full of information you already know, but it never hurts to offer ideas to your peers. It also never hurts to leave a like. Stay tuned for future blog posts, and try to be the reason someone smiles today
--Chris
Changing Identity: Part One
“One of our greatest challenges in changing habits is maintaining awareness in what we are actually doing.’ -- James Clear, Atomic Habits
Now what does that mean?
This quote is leading up to an explanation of what Clear calls the First Law of Behaviour change -- Making it Obvious. In order for us to change our habits, we first have to understand what the “cue” for each of them is. For example, maybe someone has a counterproductive habit of spending too much time on their phone. In order to change that habit, that individual would have to understand why they go on their phone in the first place. Usually it’s out of boredom or loneliness; some people will even go on their phone when they’re in the middle of a huge crowd because they don’t know anybody there. There are several different approaches you can take to change a bad habit. The one I’ll be explaining is what Clear calls “point-and-calling.” The main idea to this approach is to point out what you’re doing and say that you’re doing it. However, you say it in the third person, as if you were watching someone else do it. This simple shift in perspective helps to shift your identity from someone with negative habits to someone with positive habits (see last blog post for a more in-depth explanation on that one).
The next step in this approach is to do what’s known as implementation of intention. This is a course of action you make in your head before your habit starts so that you’re ready when your body tries to act on it. For example, if you know that you’re going to take out your phone next time you feel bored or lonely, you could audibly say “When I feel these emotions, I’ll make a choice to do ______.” Then you can fill in the blank with something else that you would rather do instead, perhaps something more productive, or at the very least something less mind numbing. No matter what you do, the idea is to not act on the craving you feel for that action. As a result, you’ll start to feel like your goal is just slightly more achievable.
On top of implementation of intention, it’s important to make the cue “unobvious” if possible. There’s four laws of behaviour change, which I’ll speak about in future posts, but for right now it’s important to understand that removing any one of the four steps in the habit cycle will break a habit.
To summarize: repeated actions make up the outcomes we get. Therefore, changing these actions changes the outcome to whatever we’d like it to be. This realization is absolutely crucial in understanding how to change habits from positive to negative. Once we understand this, changing habits becomes much simpler and far more achievable.
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Did you enjoy reading this? If so, leave a comment on what you enjoyed or ask some questions. I would sincerely appreciate it if you liked and/or shared this with your friends. Also, feel free to check out the other blog posts I’ve made and leave comments on those as well! I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas.
-- Chris
Our Habits Define Us
“Habits are the compound interest of self improvement.” -- James Clear, Atomic Habits
*record scratch* Let’s rewind, shall we?
You have an end goal for something. Maybe it’s losing weight. Maybe it’s setting aside a certain amount of money each month. Maybe it’s reading one book a week. It could even be something as simple as “Be a nicer person,” or “Become comfortable with saying no.” Whatever it is, you have one thing in common with billions of other people around the globe: you want to reach your goal. Sounds pretty simple, right? Well, there’s a little more to it than that. Although yes, it’s important for people to keep track of their goals, it’s more important for them to keep track of how they’re reaching their goals. This article is going to go a little more in depth on James Clear’s Atomic Habits in order to understand the fundamentals of making and breaking habits and in turn, reaching your end goal.
First thing’s first: what do most people do when they want to reach an end goal? They come up with one, then they start doing things that contribute to their goal, and then… they flop. Why is this? Why do people start a goal just to give up on it? Is it because they forgot about it? Or did they decide it just wasn’t for them? No. The truth is, people often expect success overnight, whether they realize it or not. To elaborate on that point; people expect to see progress overnight, which is a scaled down version of their end goal. Of course, it’s difficult to see things happen overnight because… well, because that’s not how things work. You don’t eat one salad and do an intense workout and end up losing 15 pounds overnight. However, if you do make it a habit of eating healthy and exercising every day, then you’ll eventually see progress.
The solution to this problem is quite simple: form new habits. Let’s elaborate on that one.
In order to form a habit, it’s important to switch your perspective from “I don’t see any progress yet” to something more like “The progress isn’t visible yet.” The difference between the two perspectives is that one of them assumes “well, since you can’t see any progress, it isn’t there.” The other, however, states that yes there is indeed progress, but it isn’t visible yet. In shifting your perspective from hopeless to hopeful, it becomes easier to maintain habits and in turn, reach your end goal.
Clear discusses this in his book quite a bit. In fact, he speaks of going as far as changing your identity into something that can achieve your goal. For example, he talks about someone who’s determined to be healthier but just can’t seem to do it. He goes on to explain that if the person changed their identity from “I want to be healthier” to “I am a healthy person who does these things to remain healthy,” then their ego would work with them to maintain their new identity.
A combination of an identity change and a shift in perspective are absolutely crucial in making and breaking habits. Being as identity and perspective are the two things that make up the spine of our very being, changing them changes who we are -- and we have the power to change those two things. It might not be easy, but it certainly is simple enough for you to achieve.
The Remedy of Self-Love
Have you ever been at a place in your life where things were messy?
Chances are what was going on outside was also going on inside. It's interesting to see the relationship our inner being has with our environment and vice versa. It's also why you feel better after you clean your house or organize.
Then there's also that pull of unpleasant desires we experience within ourselves that lead us to find things outside ourselves which might not always be the best way to fulfill the want we have within. Maybe it's feeling lonely and reaching for anyone to just acknowledge us. Perhaps it's stress, so we grab something out of the fridge in hopes of burying the feeling under a cascade of sweet tasting deliciousness.
The experiences come from within, yet we find ourselves looking to our environment and things outside ourselves to satisfy the wants we have. What if we took care of our needs and desires in a way that was fulfilling, beneficial, and helpful to our overall wellbeing? What if we filled our own cup, so then if we felt so inclined, we could step in and help someone else fill theirs?
Self-love isn't selfish, it's self-full. What I mean by this is that the ecology or the interaction of genuine self-love with others is one that's beneficial. When we take care of ourselves, we no longer find ourselves being a liability, but an asset. This is in regards not only to others, but to ourselves as well. Everyone benefits when we have ourselves in order.
If you feel your life is in disorder whether that's reflected internally, externally, or both, then what's the most loving thing you could do for yourself? If you looked at yourself as your own best friend and offered yourself advice, what would you say? We all know the answers internally, but sometimes we choose not to listen.
Now from the examples early, with regards to relationships and stress, understanding the intention behind trying to fulfill those wants and needs is important. Stress, it's an uncomfortable emotion and there's ways of dealing with it that can improve or diminish the quality of your life. The same goes for relationships.
So let's go back to the messy house. What in your life isn't the way you'd like it to be? What can you improve? What sacrifices need to be made? Remember this, the actions of self-love often precede the feelings of self-love. If you want to feel content, confidence, and joyful then action needs to be taken in order to cultivate that experience in your life.
When we get ourselves in order then we can move out and help others. In fact, we won't only be able to help them, but help them effectively and from a position of security. This is building your life on a sure foundation and that foundation is love.
If you found this post helpful and beneficial, please share this on your social media platforms so others can benefit as well. Lastly if this is an area you feel you need support with then go to the "contact" tab at the top of the page and fill out your information for a complimentary coaching session with me.
Relationships Are Everything
Well that's a bold statement...
I imagine you're thinking to yourself right now, "What could you possibly mean by that Chris? Certainly relationships aren't everything. I have to pay my bills, I have to accomplish my goals, I need to make it on time to this meeting, and I forgot to pack my lunch today. So, what do any of those things have to do with relationships?"
I understand what you're thinking, but bear with me for a moment. They have everything to do with the things mentioned. The common misconception is relationships only deal with the way relate to people, but in reality, the way we relate to anything is everything.
What's your relationship to money?
What's your relationship to time?
What's your relationship to your health?
While these aren't people, we have valuations of each of these and their importance in our life. It's because of how we value these things, the beliefs we have about them, that we act the way we do.
Imagine someone who holds their health in high regard. It's highly unlikely for them to do things that would be detrimental to their health because they value the importance of it. Now imagine someone who believes money is like a game and by winning the game they're helping other people as well as themselves. They'd probably have a lot more fun with money than others who believed money was hard to get.
These relationships are determined by our beliefs and it's our beliefs that create boundaries. If we're not specific on what we want, we get anything. Is it wise to let anyone into your home? Probably not. This is why it's important to know or to have beliefs about what we want from others, from finances, from time, our health, and so much more.
When we understand what we want, we know how to properly relate to the things we do want and don't want in life. This relationship that's formed from our beliefs creates boundaries and these boundaries can serve to protect us, guide us, and sharpen our focus. It's all dependent on how clear we are.
When's the last time you got clear on what you want in life? We all swim in our own emotions and subjectivity. This is why it's valuable to have someone who stands outside the waters of our life and is able to give us a degree of objectivity. This can be a teacher, a mentor, a therapist, or in my case, a coach. Now even as a coach I have coaches who help me to see through the veil of my own subjectivity and emotions to understand the truth about my situations in life.
If you're ready to get clear on your life, I encourage you to find someone that can provide that space for you. Whether that's me or someone else, it doesn't matter. Find someone that you connect with, that can help you to get clarity, so you can orient yourself in life properly, knowing how to relate to the things which matter, and create the boundaries you need in order to thrive.
If you found this post helpful and beneficial, please support me by sharing this on your social media platform as I continue to produce content to help you perform at your best, level up in life, and get the results you want.
The Challenge of Change
Remember that moment when you had your heart set towards something and then the unexpected happened?
Perhaps it was that expense that suddenly emerged out of nowhere.
Or maybe it was a business partner that decided to opt out of your new entrepreneurial endeavor.
Either way, there's one thing that we can all relate to when it comes to this experience and that's the unpleasant, often painful, emotions associated with it.
So what do we do? How do we cope? Or better yet, how do we overcome these emotions in order to reorient ourselves properly?
The key to change is acceptance and adaptability. Without the willingness to accept reality for what it is we will continue to suffer unnecessarily. Does this mean we approve of what happened? Not at all, but we must be willing to realize this is the reality of the situation. What's done is done.
The Pareto principle, also known as the 80/20 rule is a great principle to go by when it comes to this. Take 20% of your time acknowledging the issuing at hand, determining what there is to learn from the situation, and then immediately reorient 80% of your time to focusing on the solution.
Every time you find your mind ruminating on the thoughts of what had happened, immediately start considering the solution and focusing on the progress that's been made. Will this make you feel better immediately? It can, but it's likely you'll find yourself slowly, but surely finding yourself moving towards a place of progress and growth. In time, just like with any challenge we face, it will see it's way far behind you, and you'll be all the better for it.
Consider a tree that gets struck by lightening. Part of the tree is damaged, maybe some large branches are completely severed from the trunk. The tree doesn't concern itself with the pain it's experienced from the unexpected, but rather immediately begins the process of repair and growth. It reorients itself towards the Sun.
We have some major advantages over plants in this regard, but the idea is the same. You're hit from the unexpected. We can learn from the occurrence to see how we can prevent it from happening again, mitigate the damages, and grow from the experience. Then we reorient ourselves towards the goal.
If you're struggling with reorienting yourself, then it's time to get the clarity you need to move forward again. Reach out to me at iamchrisgoode@gmail.com and we can discuss how to take the next steps to move from stuck, stressed, or overwhelmed into the clarity and confidence you need to perform at your best so you can get the results you want out of business and life.
Overcoming the Undermining Caused by People Pleasing
We can often look to others to affirm our value as a person and give us a sense of worth in our community. While there is an importance in recognizing how you're contributing to society, it's also crucial to make sure this is an outflow of who you are as opposed to an inflow of consuming validation. When our focus is on receiving what others can give us we may inadvertently be undermining our capacity to give to ourselves effectively diminishing our self-trust and self confidence in meeting our own needs.
In simple terms, an unhealthy desire to seek the acceptance of others is most certainly a sign we don't accept ourselves. This may be destroying our self-belief as we betray our own values, ideals, and needs in order to fulfill the desires of others. Now there's a fine line between healthy self-love and self-absorption which leads to narcissim. One is focused on loving one's self to the benefit of others and self, where as the other is loving one's self to the benefit of self and the detriment of others.
When we're struggling with people pleasing, the first thing we can do to empower ourselves is by determining what we truly value. For me, my top five values are integrity, wisdom, love, freedom, and growth. When I'm not honest with others, overextending myself to meet their needs to my own detriment, I'm effectively betraying myself and causing myself much unneccessary suffering.
As people we love to be aligned, in congruence with our words, thoughts, actions, emotions, and beliefs. When these don't match up, we find ourselves in a state of cognitive dissonance, and we're not aligned. For someone such as myself where integrity is a high value, this is particularly poignant. Understanding what's truly important to you from your values, goals, and relationships will make things more clear when it comes to telling people yes or no.
A good rule of thumb is unless it's an emphatic "YES!", then it's clearly a no. This is a discipline and it'll take time for those of us who struggle with people pleasing, but bear in mind, self-discipline is in effect self-love. We are sacrificing the present self for the future ideal. It's no different then having a child and making decisions with regard to their wellbeing for the future.
Some relationships don't serve the direction of your life. Some people you'll say "no" to will not respect the boundary that you're putting in place. By being prepared for this by having the expectation ahead of time will make it much easier as you let go of the people who aren't building you up to move towards people who do. Just remember, as you do this, become what it is that you seek in life. If you wish to have people who respect your decisions, be willing to respect the boundaries of others.
True Control
Adversity and obstacles all present themselves in a seemingly innumerable amount of ways. The order of your life can become completely unsettled by the chaos that erupts from nowhere at any moment. Whether this is a relationship that's been torn by infidelity, a collision between vehicles, or illness that arises. We are subject to the pressure that challenges present to us when they occur and it's how we choose to respond in the midst of these difficulties that will either refine us for our betterment or damage us for our detriment. The difference lies in the choice we make and how we respond.
First, we don't have control over the large majority of our life. We may possess the illusion of control, but we don't have control. Whether it's our reputation, health, finances, relationships, or any number of other things, while we may influence these, we are not the final authority on determining the outcome. What we do possess is the power to choose how to respond to any given event. I'm not denying the tears or the pain, but I'm offering you a better way of responding as opposed to reacting.
There are two things you ultimately control, how you choose to respond and the meaning you give something. Everything else is out of your hands. As I said, you may influence things, but ultimately you don't have the final authority on the outcome of things. Recognize this and you possess true strength and real power. You free yourself from trying to pull every lever and control every outcome. It's from this place that your mind becomes truly adaptable to any given situation, becoming empowered by the reality of any moment rather than disempowered.
The Mindset to Change Everything
We have the capacity to be so much greater than what we are, but this isn't a reason to diminish who we are right now. I believe it's a moral imperative to actuate our potential, but why? Well let's flip that question on itself. Why not? Unless we've reached a point of hopelessness and despair, believing the future to be bleak (and if you do believe this then read till the end), then we are likely aiming to make things better than what they are. It's a naturally intuitive aspect of being human. Even as a child without much conscious agency you were growing from nature, acquiring new skills, talents, and traits to ideally operate and function in the world as optimally as possible.
Your life has a seemingly limitless potential to it, but you must be the one to take action to bring this about. You can become what you choose to be. We can get trapped into the unhelpful perspective of looking to the world demanding something from it without first becoming the very thing we wish to see. You want more love in the world? Become and embody the very thing you seek. You want more peace? Become and embody the very thing you seek. You want more joy and laughter? Become and embody the very thing you seek. This is the possibility of more love, peace, joy, laughter, and any other beautiful quality you can imagine, and these are awaiting to be activated within the core of being so that you might bring them about in a world that desperately needs them.
Let's focus on what we can control and that's how we choose. Let's choose to be and let's choose to act in a way that influences and inspires change. If you believe the future is bleak, then start becoming someone who makes the future look bright. If you believe your fundamentally broken then do what's necessary to become whole (the only thing that stands in the way is your willingness to find the answers and if you believe you're still broken you need to keep looking). If you believe this world is a bad place, then become the person that makes it good. It starts with you and it starts with me.